What started as my dream sex life is now I am lucky if we do it once a month and it is usually on his terms, NOT when *I* am in the mood, planned and boring and routine. I have asked him to write more often if we do not physically meet so often, but I dont want to keep pushing him for more attention. Please help? He has never had a serious relationship so he doesnt know that we could have gone through it together. I double-majored in physics and mathematics and was sooooo constantly busy and very emotionally abused at the time in my relationship. He does spend time with us and financially he is very supportive which Im great full for. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Several, if not most of my friends live together with their partner and it is something I wish to do too. Maybe he will brush his teeth at lunchtime but often he just smells like armpits and looks like a scruff and then wants to come to our clean bed that way. I start to think that maybe he is cheap and he doesnt want to spend money having a meal in a nice restaurant because we didnt go out for a proper dinning experience. I have been working 70 hour weeks and I am doing an online MBA. And I get it, hes never been through the same things but I expect that. We never do anything spontaneous or fun, and Im the type of person who loves that stuff. I tried to get my best friend to take me (I cant drive) to his sisters baby shower so i could see him but i found out she no longer was friends with him and she hated that we were dating and regretted getting us together. i dont know what i should do since i know that he has feelings for me but i feel like he treats me like a friend a lot of the time. He had a past and opened up to me about it and we were just a rlly good couple. But its not ones job to fix me. I dont know if anyone has experienced this before? I do far too many things for him. I am feeling, like my expectations may be too high. He say that he dosnt want to sex with me. I think that might make him feel better. Ladies lay back and observe. I visit him at work a couple nights a week and bring him dinner as he works second shift. Hes very sweet and affectionate, so I dont believe its due to him not liking me anymore, but it really confuses me and stresses me out. He says he loves me but I dont see him actively showing his love. Rather, letting go is about loosening unhealthy attachments in current and past relationships. I pay d bills, I buy him stuffs give him money, I practically do everything in d relationship . Hes not as affectionate, he doesnt help me plant my flowers, & he doesnt go to bed when I do. Im dating this guy for 3 years now. We started with skyping during weekends, to calling sometimes to texting only and recently weve stopped texting as often. Me and my partner have been together 5 years. I dont want to lose him,i made a mistake and have learnt to trust him now! I been communicating with him about his lack of effort , no improvement. Im going through the same thing now. I simply did it because I knew I wasnt perfect and I wanted to become the women I needed to be for him. But what?! Dont end up like me. You want him to be different. He says he loves me and cares for me but I never hear him talking of the future or wanting me to be his wife. High on mine, low on his. I really dont know what how to go about it. it is like his way of saying he just wants to do whatever he wants now and I if I dont like it, tough crap. He was blowing me off each and every time. If you succumb to what you wish your relationship and boyfriend was, then youll find yourself begging or manipulating your boyfriend into making an effort in your relationship. For example, his car broke down in a town more then an hour away. I dont have a say in anything and I cant express how I feel because he tells me its all on me and pretty much its my fault I feel the way I do. Were both not yet married with our partners since both of our relationship with our partners is not okay. Im a very physical touch/ Quality time person. It was amazing, we had so much fun. I dont think what Im asking for is difficult to do that it would take months to see any results. Be careful when you hear those words. My boyfriend and I have been dating about 5 months weve known each other for quite a while in the 1st couple months was wonderful we talked a lot did stuff together laugh together he started working more and didnt have as much time is energy but I noticed that hes working obsessive until he absolute collapses he makes no time for me he keeps saying I cant wait till we have time again when I get these jobs done but nothing is an emergency hes not strapped financially he doesnt have to complete these things as fast as he does I go to his house and sleep a lot of nights with him thats kind of all were doing anymore were not even having sex but if I dont sleep over he calls me and text me I miss you so much I love you so much but he wont actually put in any effort to do anything with me Im so confused about about it Ive lowered my expectations again and again and hes just been just disconnected just not really even present Its like he knows he has me and he can just put me on a shelf until he feels like paying attention to me again and its not enough for me but I love him I know he loves me I dont know why he doesnt get it that this relationship is gonna die if he doesnt keep starving it. It takes a lot of patience and time. My boyfriend and I started with a lot of stress in our relationship. Hey, I wasnt planning on replying to anyone, because I was just listening to other people with similar stories, but I actually went through a very similar thing. But also in the past few months he has also started growing his own pot, which I cant handle. I hate to say it maybe he did something he wasnt so suppose to and felt guilty leading him to end things. If your boyfriend never made an effort to begin with, then he may simply be lazy or indifferent to building and maintaining a relationship with you. MY BOYFRIEND AN I HAVE 2 KIDS TOGETHER AND WE BOTH WORK. I dont know what to do. He did call me every morning like he said for a week. I MEAN EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN LIFE BUT I WOULD INSIST ON HIM CHANGING THE DRINKING NOW OR LATER YOU COULD BE LIVING MY LIFE. It took several conversations where I told him i needed him to be the one to ask me to meet up and reach out more often, as it made me feel loved. So what I want to know is do this guy and me still have a chance to fix things? we are a college couple of 2.5 years now. Is your boyfriend an emotionally unavailable man? You dont have to change your personality, but you may need to change your expectations. I have a lot of questions, but no answers. I have met and gone out with his friends. One thing that has been helping me is just leaving the room to give each other space. To me it seems like your boyfriend is causing your anxiety and making you feel down which is not okay at all. Ive changed from an angry tone to a more assertive one but even if we sort them out, hed revert back to his old habits and ill start pointing fingers and he shuts it out again and eventually we stop talking about it altogether. Then make him work for you! 1) You would start to see your boyfriend noticing how positive, content and a happy individual you are turning out to be suddenly, and then wonder if therell be any other guys whod potentially be eyeing youbecause you are really becoming such a happy and lovely girl. So any advice would be helpful. Hes just too self-absorbed. And cant make money, i have no car! Next thing I woke up to a text. Please help me , I have the same situation weve been dating for a year and 3 months and its the exact same way idky doe . Im an essential worker so I work fulltime while he sits at home playing video games all day long. and so the cycle repeats. Just torn and dont know what to do. He understood, admitted he takes me fore granted and he would try harder. How you approach your boyfriend depends on his personality, your style of communication, and your relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together over 3 years. This guy is not going to do that for you. We havent been intimate in almost 2 years and when I asked him he says hes not turned on ? Any thoughts ppl? I decided I deserve to be treated with love and respect. The three emotions you suggested we wrote down mine were: Last on the priorities, unloved, lonely/lost. Girl, thats not fair to you. I just dont know what to do. Like, Ive planned 90% of our dates. My fiance, my 12 year old son, and i have been living together a second time(in his house). Doesnt want to go do nothing but work on projects for the house. Wow girl as Im reading this I cant believe I didnt write it lol. He keeps telling me that if I think relationships are only about anniversaries and dates, giving each other a label, cheesy stuff, then for him it isnt meaningful. is dealing with the pressure of having other things on their mind, such as an achingly difficult work project or personal and/or familial issues that sap them of the energy to deal with little else. for example, yesterday, he gave me a box of chocolates only because his mom made him and i usually have to make the first moves, even if its something simple as reaching out to hold hands. I know for sure that he likes me as well. Im 47, and he is 57 now, and we have been together for 10 years now and have lived together for 8 years. We have a 12 year old daughter. I guess what im really confused about is, Is he really just being comfortable or is he thinking that i would never leave him ( he knows) so it dosent matter how he treats me or how much effort he puts in? And then proceeded to call me later like nothing was wrong to tell me about something that happened at work. I love him more than ever and I know I made the biggest mistake of my life. He stays at my house an wont clean a dish or pick up his trash off my floor. We had romantic dates and fell in love at first sight. Recently,he told me hell be busy with work and i tried to understand our situation right now..But he i feel like he doesnt seems to give much effort for this relationship to get closer. Unless he drank to much then he was argumentative and yucky. Its comforting knowing others face the same issues. This might not apply to all guys. My boyfriend and I have been living together for 8 years and have three kids together. Because then they they think they can control and manipulate us. 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